by Victoria Redbard

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Okay, It’s probably about time that I start speaking about this love I’m experiencing.

I was literally fine before I wrote that line, now I’m balling my eyes out. So many tears and a fear of sharing something so precious in my heart with the world. Like somehow this is a magick that’ll be ruined by the gaze of others.

I guess my truth is that I don’t want to come on and gloat about how incredible this relationship is. I don’t want to sell or cheapen what’s happening in my life. I don’t want to ‘use’ my fulfilment to sell a programme and I wonder whether people even really want to know about this stuff.

But here I am, I trust that the tears are guiding something to be said.

So 20 months ago my ‘friend’ came to visit me. He’d called a few times to tell me he wanted to come up. On the third time, I told him…

‘Look, don’t come to the fire, unless you’re ready to dance.’

I’m not sure either of us knew what I was talking about, but somehow it was fitting.

He finally came, it was volcanic, and neither of us had a choice but to start this dance.

Shuffling our way through the resistance, minds scattered in the surprise of the truth that lay between us. The ease of deep intimacy and aligned values that deepened day by day, week by week, harmoniously.

When the ‘stuff’ came up, I witnessed a commitment to ride the current through the body. A meeting beyond the mind, a recognition that safety could only be found within. All power plays of the past withering away before our eyes.

I saw this entity that was our relationship, sparked from the abyss, start to take shape, frequencies of devotion, reverence, commitment calling us both forward in ways we could have never seen before.

I felt this knowing show up that went beyond ‘finding the one’. It was a sense of alliance that allowed for compassion and surrender to roll through our connection wave after wave. This captivated my presence, calling me into a higher version of myself. One that was anchored in union, inviting me to feel the presence of God continually vibrating around me and through me.

Every single day I’m enamoured by the adoration I feel rippling through my every cell, it’s a will stronger than anything my ego could muster up and it drives through me like a force to be reckoned with.

My truth is, I do want to scream this from the rooftops, but I want to do it right, in a way that you can really feel me.

Receiving the bliss that’s oozing out of this relationship that I’m learning to calibrate moment by moment. Thank you for bearing witness to my love for this incredible man. And thank you Miroslav for showing up and dying to this mystery that wants to unfold between us. Forever grateful for the ferocity of your presence that makes time stand still

P.S. I would love to know what you felt reading this and if you want to hear more about it. I’m working out the right space for me to share my heart.