by Victoria Redbard

Enmeshment is different to co-dependency. If codependency is a set of behaviours then enmeshment is the energy at the root of it.

It is entirely possible to have one without the other. In people I work with I find that enmeshment can be a by product of secure attachment and a healthy sex life. 

On the other hand, co-dependency only seems to occur amongst people who are leaning on one another to run away from something within.

Enmeshment is tricky as it has us feel our partners feelings as if they are our own. It enters into our stream of consciousness through our dream time, through skin to skin contact and through knowing each others thoughts and behaviours so well. 

The deepest way it permeates is through sexual intercourse. Erotic energy appears to open up the channels of unity, creating a oneness that can linger as its own nervous system for days or even weeks after a sexual connection.

Sometimes we only need to have sex once to see the effects of this. A swirling of energy, a cord pulling our awareness back to one another, a shared consciousness that exists in the ether.

A few signs that you may have experienced this could be:

• Your mannerisms change after spending time with this person
• You speak or sound like the person
• You hear their thoughts in your head as if they are your own
• You have a slight fear of breaking rapport with the person
• Your desires are clouded and unclear
• Your own truth isn’t clear
• You act differently to usual
• If you have time apart or break up you feel uneasy in your system which has you want to return to them even if the relationship doesn’t feel like a logical choice.

Enmeshment lives in the shadows and can easily go unnoticed, as if it’s not a problem, but to obtain our true evolution and follow our dharma we must come back to ourselves regularly and feel what is truly ours. Clear our channel to be able to receive what is really for us, attuning us to the alignment of our walk through this lifetime. 

When we run our own sexual current we’re able to clear through any remnants and stagnant energy left in our bodies. Calling us home to our true nature. With sound, breath, movement and touch our nervous system returns to a safety within ourselves. Clarity and messages will begin to appear and reveal what is truly meant for us right now.

And if the relationship with this person is truly healthy, returning to them after you’re clear of their energy will offer a renewed bliss and presence as you rediscover who they are in this moment. 

To clear through enmeshment try one of our self pleasure practices and discover the power of moving your own sexual current through your body.