Enmeshment is different to co-dependency. If codependency is a set of behaviours, then enmeshment is the energy at the root of it. It is entirely possible to have one without the other. In people I work with, I find that enmeshment can be a byproduct of secure attachment and a healthy sex life. 

On the other hand, co-dependency only seems to occur amongst people who are leaning on one another to run away from something within. In this post, we will explore all you should know about enmeshment. 

What is Enmeshment?

Enmeshment describes relationships where personal boundaries are unclear or overly blurred. In enmeshed relationships, individuals may feel overly responsible for each other’s emotions, decisions, or well-being. 

This lack of healthy separation can make it difficult for people to develop a strong sense of self, independence, or emotional autonomy. While these connections may appear close or caring, enmeshment often leads to stress, guilt, and challenges in forming healthy relationships outside the family unit.

What Does it Mean When a Person is Enmeshed?

Enmeshment is tricky as it has us feel our partners feelings as if they are our own. It enters into our stream of consciousness through our dream time, through skin to skin contact and through knowing each other’s thoughts and behaviours so well. 

The deepest way it permeates is through sexual intercourse. Erotic energy appears to open up the channels of unity, creating a oneness that can linger as its own nervous system for days or even weeks after a sexual connection.

Sometimes we only need to have sex once to see the effects of this. A swirling of energy, a cord pulling our awareness back to one another, a shared consciousness that exists in the ether.

Signs of Enmeshment

A few signs that you may have experienced enmeshment could be:

• Your mannerisms change after spending time with this person
• You speak or sound like the person
• You hear their thoughts in your head as if they are your own
• You have a slight fear of breaking rapport with the person
• Your desires are clouded and unclear
• Your own truth isn’t clear
• You act differently to usual
• If you have time apart or break up you feel uneasy in your system which makes you want to return to them even if the relationship doesn’t feel like a logical choice.

Enmeshment lives in the shadows and can easily go unnoticed, as if it’s not a problem, but to obtain our true evolution and follow our dharma we must come back to ourselves regularly and feel what is truly ours. Clear our channel to be able to receive what is really for us, attuning us to the alignment of our walk through this lifetime. 

When we run our own sexual current we’re able to clear through any remnants and stagnant energy left in our bodies. Calling us home to our true nature. With sound, breath, movement and touch our nervous system returns to a safety within ourselves. Clarity and messages will begin to appear and reveal what is truly meant for us right now.

And if the relationship with this person is truly healthy, returning to them after you’re clear of their energy will offer a renewed bliss and presence as you rediscover who they are in this moment. 

How to Handle Enmeshment

To clear through enmeshment try one of our self pleasure practices and discover the power of moving your own sexual current through your body. Here are a few more ways to stop enmeshment. 

Handling enmeshment begins with recognizing the signs, such as guilt over setting boundaries, difficulty making independent decisions, or feeling overly responsible for others’ emotions. To manage enmeshment:

• Set clear boundaries: Start small by saying no or taking time for yourself without explanation or guilt.
  
• Build self-awareness: Reflect on your own needs, values, and feelings separate from others.
  
• Seek support: A therapist can help you navigate complex emotions and establish healthier relationship patterns.
  
• Foster independence: Spend time doing things that help you grow as an individual, like hobbies, friendships, or personal goals.

FAQs

What is an example of enmeshment?

A parent sharing personal problems with their child and expecting emotional support in return is an example of enmeshment. The child takes on an adult role and loses a sense of personal boundaries.

What is the root cause of enmeshment?

Enmeshment often stems from a caregiver’s unmet emotional needs, which they unconsciously try to fulfill through overly close relationships with children or loved ones.

How do I get rid of enmeshment?

Start by setting boundaries, focusing on your own identity, and seeking support from a therapist. Healing enmeshment involves learning to separate your emotions and needs from others’.