by Elizabeth Willis, PhD.
At the end of each school day, all I want to do is get home, rip off all of my clothes and touch my body.
About 12 months ago I was introduced to the Self Pleasure™ somatic modality developed by Victoria Redbard.
This was the beginning of my journey into embodiment and ultimate teacher wellness.
Since then, my dedicated practice in the modality has connected me deeply into my body. I have journeyed the depths of my intuition. Really felt the sensations of pain, rage, desire and joy. I have explored and connected to parts of myself so profoundly that my intuitive sense of knowing is crystal clear.
What is this Self Pleasure Modality™?
Let’s start with the basics.
The globally accredited Self-Pleasure Modality™ is a modality implemented in your daily life to practice dropping in and connecting with your body. It is a cutting-edge transformative practice that allows you to access your inner world through sound, breath movement and touch.
The daily connection to your body, with sound, breath, movement and touch, creates new neural pathways for you to connect to your subconscious. The practise becomes transformational because it takes you on a journey.
First, we are able to reclaim our bodies by clearing the past and connecting to and recognizing our unconscious patterns. Then we connect to our deep inner knowing that has been lost amongst the turmoil of our fast-paced society. Once we have cleared the past and connected to the present… We are able to CREATE. To call in the life we want to live.
This process of clearing our past, connecting to the present and then creating the future cycles through as your body needs.
This practice is truly magical and monumentally life-changing.
The essence of Self Pleasure™ is founded in the ancient wisdom of Tantra and Taoism. Using the tantric tools of sound, breath, movement and touch, we connect with our physical and energetic being. We disconnect from the mind the thoughts that are connected with the sensations that we are experiencing and we simply focus on connecting with the sensations in the body. When we disconnect from the mind we allow for a new level of mental wellness to be achieved.
This is a meditative practice.
Self Pleasure™ and the Nervous System
The Self-Pleasure Modality™ is an avenue that allows us to achieve a regulated state with our Nervous System.
During our fast-paced hectic days, we are exposed to different levels of stress. Furthermore, we experience external stress from work, relationships, financial hardship and more. The continual exposure to general and external stress compounds in our bodies (unknown to us because we are disconnected from the body).
When we are not aware of the sensations in our body caused by the external stress we are absorbing, our Nervous System launches into survival mode of fight, flight, fawn or freeze. While these responses are primal and are meant to only be resurrected for small amounts of time to keep us safe from “predators,” when we are disconnected from our body’s sensations our Nervous System sees the “predators” as our compounded daily stress.
Living with a dysregulated Nervous System leads to chronic long term mental illness, health issues and overall a decline in overall wellness.
When we somatically connect daily to our body we learn to listen to what our body is telling us. Sensations (fluttering, tingling, swooshing, pounding, etc) are the language of our body. In order to hear our body, we need to develop the skill for listening to our body.
How does this relate to daily life?
Oftentimes throughout the day we do not have the time, nor the space, to FEEL the sensations in our body. The demands of everyday life require us to experience an event and then move on quickly, to “push through” the day. Without allowing us to stop and take the time to feel what is happening in our body.
Our Nervous Systems do not have time to “catch up” with what is going on. To fully feel the sensations. Therefore, the sensations become packed and stuffed down into the body and stored, which later becomes trauma.
The Self Pleasure™ Practice that I visit later in the day, usually in the evening before I go to bed, when all is quiet, allows me to revisit the sensations in my body that needed to be felt earlier that day. Each practice I come home to my body. I feel the sensations that represent the emotions of fear, pain, frustration, irritation, desire, pleasure and joy. I feel them without attaching a story to them in my practice. I listen to them. I notice where they move. I feel them. I do not need to DO anything except feel.
How has my life changed?
As a teacher in the classroom and a mother of two young children, I have always been on the go. Constantly moving and “getting stuff done.” Over the past year I have realized that I have lived most of my life with a dysregulated Nervous System. Suffering from extreme anxiety, overwhelm and battling massive fatigue.
I had been seeking a teacher wellness activity to use to improve my health and wellness as a teacher.
Self Pleasure™ has created space in my life for me to STOP and PAUSE. Where my responses to events, circumstances and conflict used to take me directly to my mind, now take me to the question, “what am I feeling right now in my body?”
I now know when my Nervous System is on the way to a dysregulated state, I can stop it and pull it back.
When I feel anxiety coming on in my body. I can turn towards it, feel the sensations in my body, and regulate myself.
If I feel overwhelmed, I can lovingly put up boundaries to protect my Nervous System.
I feel energized and deeply connected to my inner-knowing and intuition.
I can make challenging decisions with clarity, ease and confidence.
The Self-Pleasure Modality has guided me teacher wellness.
Myths and Misconceptions of Self Pleasure™
The Self Pleasure Modality™ is not masturbation. We are conditioned to believe that touching our bodies correlates to masturbation and climax. Our bodies are innately complex and house an endless flow of wisdom.
Self Pleasure™ can be done with clothes on or off. It can look like laying in a still position and feeling the sensations moving through the body, it can look like touching the body, it can look like screaming and kicking and hitting a pillow.
The beauty of the modality is that we listen to our body and follow where our body guides us. We listen to the wisdom of our bodies.
Remember. The only WRONG way of practising is NOT practising at all.
Elizabeth is a graduate of the Institute of New Paradigm Intimacy. Leading the way in Online Teacher Wellness.
Connect with Elizabeth here: https://www.instagram.com/newparadigmteachinginstitute/ or https://www.newparadigmteaching.com/